We have a culture that bases a lot about ourselves as an image. We pick our clothing, do our hair, makeup, find shoes to match, and even a purse to match. We have cars, careers, and houses to keep our image. I'm not here to say that all of that is a bad thing. But when your hair has a chance of being lost, there is some grieving that you may encounter.

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It's perfectly normal. Hair is something that identifies who we are as a person. We are creative with it, and usually it is the one thing we've always had our whole life, liking it or not. There are new methods to try to preserve your hair. The cold cap might be an option for you if you are really terrified of losing your hair, or worried it will come back different (because it is very possible that it will). For me, it wasn't worth the cost or hassle. I decided to embrace that my hair would most likely fall out, and see what comes next. 

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It took about 2 1/2 weeks after my first treatment for it to start falling out. I was actually in the shower, and started to feel clumps. On the radio, "It is well with my soul" was playing. I shed a tear, knowing it was actually happening, but the fact that that song was playing told me that God had me. That it was going to be okay. It became my anthem. He has a way of showing up discreetly, at just the right time, if we're paying attention. Try to focus on God taking care of you, rather than how your body is changing. This positive shift will take you leaps and bounds above your situation and help you get through.

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Then, I got realllllllly into hats and scarves. My sister sent me a wig. My mom sent me a gift card to Headcovers Unlimited (a great gift!) and I bought tons of hats. My aunt sent me scarves. It felt like I was playing dress up, so it became really fun. Another positive shift I wasn't even aware I was making. I would wear hats and big earrings! I went to my oncologist and he was elated with me dressing up. When we are dressing ourselves up, despite what we're going through, it sends messages to our brain that we feel good, that we will be good. This positive energy is so important for you! So when you ARE feeling good, wear clothes, hats, wigs, scarves, and jewelry that make you feel good. It doesn't have to be elaborate. 

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My first chemo session was December 21. As my hair was breaking and falling out after about 2 1/2 weeks, I had to wear hats to hold it. I had to cut some of it off- it was just a rat's nest. I finally had my husband shave my head, and I felt so much better. By January 22 I had no more hair, just fuzz, and decided that I didn't need to "hide" the fact that I was bald. My aunt, my daughter, and I had a girls' day, and I stepped out into the driveway bare headed. I felt so much freedom in the decision! That day I realized, Hair is just an Accessory. It doesn't have to define me.

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Whatever your decision is, it is the right one. Your bravery will affect someone you encounter each day through this journey. I had people come up to me all the time, most of them survivors themselves, saying that I was beautiful and that I would be okay. There is such a sisterhood with breast cancer. We are all here for you. Let God help you with the positive mindshift. It is hard at first to hear everyone say, "stay positive!" They have no idea! But if you can, whenever you can, it will carry you through.