Open me...

When I was little, I loved the movie Alice in Wonderland. There was something about the magic of being able to shrink tiny or become giant with the simple bite of a cookie or drink of water- things always labeled 'eat me' or 'drink me.' Usually not in her best interest, Alice would oblige and have to figure out how to get through the next phase of her adventure after becoming tiny or giant. I always wanted to go on adventures like that, doing activities that defied the logic of normal life.

Lately, it seems my bible should have the label on it, "read me," or "open me." I get so consumed with the tasks of the week, and unfortunately lately, have been neglecting the simple act of opening my bible. I think we go through phases of our Christian walk, and for me, it's been a struggle this past half of the year. Not a struggle with what I believe or that I've stopped going to church- none of that. But rather, in being diligent about what matters the most in my walk with God- my devoted, personal time with Him.

This fall we've had a couple deaths in the family, some health concerns with me and others in my family, and life just got really heavy. If we are not careful, it is easy to be pulled away in the darkness surrounding us. Pretty soon, we wonder where God went? It got so dark there for a minute, that I literally asked one of my closest friends if God ever leaves us. I know the answer in my soul- No- but I needed reassurance. (This is where having godly confidants and women of wisdom are also essential for your walk. We all need support and reassurance.)

So how can we be so sure? When life is difficult, not even tragically difficult, but "normal, busy" difficult- how are we sure God is near? If you've been saved through Christ Jesus, we have this reassurance through His death and resurrection.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ...No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 9: 35-37 NLT

If you are not saved, it is simple. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice, and while we were still sinners, He died for us (Romans 5:8). It wasn't up to us. God loves us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, and Jesus was obedient to God- obedient to death on a cross! (Read Philippians 2:5-11). To be saved, we proclaim a simple prayer, stating our belief in Jesus' death and resurrection, for the salvation of the world.

If you openly declare the Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. As the scriptures tell us, "Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disgraced." ....For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:9-13 NLT

Because we have this assurance, we can be sure that God is never gone from us, even when life feels tricky, dark, or quiet. I had to get outside in nature (my usual quiet time spot) and just open my bible; do what I know to do- read a devotional, journal my truth (get it all out), and wait for God. I can't rush the time with Him- that's not prioritizing Him. In my efforts to "get it done" and move on with my list for the day, I was sacrificing the most essential part of my spiritual health, and I could feel it.

I stopped writing, stopped reading, stopped journaling...and started to walk like an empty shell. I went to church, I did the things, I even opened my bible to get a verse or two..but it was all in vain. You can't know God personally and hear His wisdom and words if you are not giving Him time. You can read your bible without studying it. You can pray without putting thought into it. We can do all the motions we're supposed to do. Sometimes we get there without realizing it. If you are there, understand that God's grace is greater, and He knows your heart.

My devotional took me to Ecclesiastes, and it seemed perfect, because everything was feeling meaningless (Ecclesiastes talks about how following God alone is our purpose, and nothing else nor anyone else will satisfy our desires). I came across Ecclesiastes 10:8, which states, "When you dig a well, you might fall in." Sometimes we do this. We dig a hole and we fall in, unaware of how stuck we've gotten ourselves. At least I do. I'm far from perfect in my walk, but as I was reading, a calm, reassuring peace overcame me. I know that was God. It is ok if we mess up. It is ok if we got our priorities a little mixed up. It is OK to struggle!!! It is OK if you feel lost! If you are there now, open your bible. Just start reading. Keep reading until God shows up. He will. I actually think this is necessary to becoming more mature in your walk with Christ. He is constantly teaching us, showing us more each time as we grow in faith, as He is the perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

He is always there, and He is always ready to help us adjust as we need. We don't have to have any shame. We know His voice, so come on back when He calls you.

The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they floow him because they know his voice. John 10:3-4

Put it into practice:

• Set a regular time every single day, preferably before you do anything else.

• Bring your bible, and anything else that might help guide you (a devotional, a reading plan, etc.)

• Bring a journal so that you can write what you read and recall them daily.

• Still your heart and spirit, and invite God to speak to you with what He wants you to know for today.

• If you've been away for a bit, ask for repentance for what distracted you, and allow Him to show you His love and Peace.

I am not a Bible scholar or preacher, I am just a girl who loves Jesus. This is my interpretation of things I have learned. I hope it can encourage you and lead you to the bible to see the truth for yourself. :-)

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation.