Where does affirmation come from?

Our world is filled with the desire for validation. We want to know that what we feel, what we do, and what we think is right or justified. We are all reaching out, desperate for someone else to chime in. When we make decisions, we want to know we are doing the right thing.

Years ago, I was loosely known as the friend who could do makeup- particularly the 'smoky eye'. When we would go out, my friends would come over and let me do their eye makeup before we left, claiming they had no idea how to make it look right. I did have an older sister who had taught me some tricks, after all. One particular time, a friend texted me with the question on what color eye makeup she should wear with a particular outfit. I gave my reply, and a little while later, she mentioned that she was at the salon, and the makeup artist had said the exact same thing. I remember the elation of being validated by someone who didn't even know me, but had training in that area and actually agreed with me. It sounds so silly, but isn't this what we all need? Maybe not about makeup, but about the little things and the big things? We just want approval, affirmation that the choices we are making are the right ones.

We always look to worldly influence for the affirmation we seek, but what our souls need is Godly affirmation. Does it sound overwhelming, out of reach, to even achieve that? I know it can. How can we possibly know that God confirms our choices throughout the day? What about the tiny little micro-decisions we make each day? What about the big decisions? How do we know it's not just our own thinking in our heads? I've had these exact questions.

I say it over and over- God is extremely personal. Although we aren't living during the time when Jesus walked the Earth, and we aren't living during the time when God led His people with fire and other physical signs, we have perhaps an even better communication tool: His Spirit.

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. John 14:15-20

The best part about having His Spirit is that He is always with us. This passage was Jesus telling His disciples that He would soon be going away (dying on the cross), but that He would still be with them by raising from the dead, going to Heaven with God and leaving His Spirit in each one of us that accept it. Of course, they didn't quite understand this at that moment. But they would soon.

Jesus promised His Spirit to be with us always and forever. Do you notice how it said, "The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor know him, (v. 17)"? This jumped out at me. To truly know and understand affirmation from God, you must know Him. You will hear me say this again and again; the way to know God is to meet with Him every single day. Start reading. Start praying. It doesn't matter how awkward you feel or if you're not sure you are 'doing it right.' God meets us right here, right now. We just need to make the effort to meet Him. The daily routine of meeting with Him builds your knowledge and understanding of who He is, so that over time, you begin to understand when you are receiving affirmation from Him.

Here's the thing about God. He likes to take baby steps. I have never experienced Him rushing in, telling me lots of overwhelming information, and rushing out. He's like the gentle grandparent, whom you can sit next to on the porch swing in silence, and then speak one line of truth that will live with you for the rest of your life. God works at a pace that we can keep up with, sometimes even more slowly than we would like. He knows what is good for us and what we need to keep in step with Him. It is never harsh, condemning, ridiculing, or any other form that makes you feel shame. It is honest but loving. Firm but gentle. Observant yet hopeful.

I think we see God as so big and powerful that we miss His true nature. Yes, I believe He is sovereign over everything and holds the whole universe in His hands. But He sent Jesus to show us how extremely personal He is. We miss it. He sends us messages every day, simply out of His love. We expect miracles or big signs, when in fact, maybe the eagle flying over was a love message to you.

Reading John Eldredge's Walking with God (reading list) helped me understand more deeply God's wonderful daily gifts. (Not an affiliate link, I just love this author and he has helped me grow). Eldredge is always out in nature, and talks about how God speaks to him there. I love birds, and the pandemic had me getting all the bird feeders out and watching and waiting to see what would come visit that day. It helped me appreciate something I already liked even more. The bald eagle has always been such a majestic symbol to me- as I'm sure for a lot of people. More than freedom, but also power, grace, and confidence. When I moved near a river, I actually started to see them, even though I live in the South. Not a lot, but enough. I took it as a gift from God, affirmation that I was in the right place, and that I could be sure of His power, grace, and God-confidence for myself.

When I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, it knocked me off kilter. It is such a surreal experience, and everything is brand new. New doctors, new appointments, new procedures, new medications, new experiences for sure. As I was driving to one of the many appointments, a bald eagle flew right over my car as I crossed the bridge. It would have been amazing to anyone; since the eagle was special to me, God used it as an affirmation that He was with me. God uses what is near and dear to our hearts to speak to us softly, assuring us of what we need that day. This is how I believe God gives us affirmation in our spirit. He knows us so deeply, He knows what stirs our hearts and can quietly speak to us if we pay attention.

Have you heard of God winks? Coincidences? If we look up, God is speaking to us all day long. One particular day, I was actually thinking about what to write for the blog. I have an outline of ideas and a sort of plan in place, but I couldn't get the feeling for what to write. I was thinking to write about prayer, but wasn't sure how to go about it. The first line of my devotional that day what about prayer. I laughed out loud. I believe that is confirmation from God that I was on the right track, and to keep going. Notice how simple these little affirmations are? Don't discount what you see happen before you. I believe it is divine. We tend to scoff at it, thinking, God wouldn't be so simple. But I believe He is, so that we can clearly see Him. That's all He really wants. For us to see Him, trust Him, love Him, and have a better life because He is in it!

Sometimes, we have big decisions and need guidance. This can be trickier, because our minds like to play games with us (not to mention the spiritual warfare going on for our minds. See Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind for more). These decisions take time and thorough prayer. God gives us guidance one step at a time, which is all the more reason to meet with Him every day. There are ways to know you are going in the right direction.

• Wise counsel. This is someone that you trust, who speaks life into your decisions. They have Godly wisdom and probably more life experience (although not always). This person might say something, not even aware of what you are thinking but their words confirm what you need. You do not necessarily go searching for it. The advice also might not agree with what you are thinking, but that can be a guidepost to what you need to do. Sometimes, however, you can go to this person for wisdom and their words help guide your path.

The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. Proverbs 12:15

• The bible. Of course, God's word can confirm what you need to know. A particular verse may profoundly speak to you out of nowhere. Pay attention to that.

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119: 105

• Peace. I think this is the most underrated emotion in our walk with God. When you come to a decision, or even partial decision, and you feel immense peace, pay attention. It may also feel like relief. God gives us an unspeakable peace- meaning it may not make sense, but you feel it deep in your soul. That is God speaking to you.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

• Church. Church has gotten a bad rap, and some for good reason. However, I encourage you to find a church, or at least start with the many online options out there. Church enables you to learn more and more about God. A pastor, unbeknownst to him or her, can speak life into a decision you are contemplating. They will be biblically backed, and can be a sort of anonymous wise counsel (if listening to their message, not speaking to them personally). Church is also a place where you can find a group of fellow believers that can become your support system and wise counsel.

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:4-5

• Journal. As you hear wise words, read scripture, and notice peace in your life, I encourage you to write it down. When I look over my many journals, I can see the picture being painted. We cannot see it as we are in each moment, but the big picture comes together over time. We are busy and have trouble each day, and we tend to forget the good, little things. Writing everything down will help you remember.

• Pray. Always come to the Lord in prayer, about any decision you may need to make. Give Him time to guide you. When you feel a stirring in your heart, pay attention. That is Him speaking to you. Write it down, so that you remember, and notice the other things above that speak to that stirring in your heart as well.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

When you need affirmation, God will give it to you. But He is gentle and quiet, and waits for our souls to quiet down and come near to Him. He will use many ways to speak to you, and when you pay attention, you will be amazed by what you hear.

Heavenly Father,

Help me see the little ways you speak to me each day. Open my eyes, open my heart, to receive the gifts You bestow upon me each day. Guide my decisions with the stirring of my heart, and help me see Your Presence. Thank you for being so near and help me understand Your amazing love.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011